you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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