I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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