Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
