i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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