Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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