Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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