So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
