Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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