Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
