my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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