Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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