I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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