just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
They have beer where we have blood.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
