if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
