Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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