I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this boner is exhausting
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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