Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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