I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
