guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize
