Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
