Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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