I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
