yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
