Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
