Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I want to fling myself into the sun
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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