If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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