Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
