I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
