No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
