Farmville is her only friend.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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