Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
