oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
