that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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