You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
