ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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