Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
