no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
