Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
