if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
