Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize