he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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