is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
