Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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