is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
