I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
