Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
