Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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