so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
