i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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