Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
